THERE is a certain logic, I suppose, to the winner-takes-all format that will determine which driver carries off the Formula One title this year.
But in using Jenson Button as an example of how the title race will be opened up, Bernie Ecclestone has lost me, and to his credit the Brawn GP driver, too.
Ecclestone’s unnecessary plan, in my view, which has been adopted by F1’s governing body this week, will see the championship go to the driver who has won the most grands prix.
Not necessarily the best or most consistent driver or team, just the chap with the most wins tucked in his glove compartment.
The points system will only come into play if two or more drivers are locked on the same amount of victories and then also to decide the lesser places.
Get off to a flier, win three or four wins out of the first nine races say, and you could conceivably see a driver pootling around the circuits without having to break sweat.
Pit stops could mean time for a shower, change into the jeans and t-shirt and ready to party, once you’ve gone through the motions of completing the GP, that is.
Far fetched? Of course, but the point is after two highly-successful, exciting and satisfying conclusions to the series, why the need to fix the proverbial not broken system?
Ecclestone cited Button, presumably on Brawn’s (formerly Honda) very fast pre-season testing times.
If drivers go for broke, then it’s more exciting all round, Ecclestone opined.
But the average watcher would, as Button points out, find it baffling why someone with 60 points is the champion, rather than a driver with 100.
It would have resulted in Felipe Massa taking the F1 crown last year rather than Lewis Hamilton (pictured right), as the Brazilian would have had more wins.
If the idea is to eradicate from F1 tactical driving and team shenanigans, then it’s case not proven too, as drivers and their employers will adapt to whatever system is placed in front of them.
I bet the Beeb, who have been trumpeting the return of F1 to the network, are delighted, with executives quietly standing with fingers crossed behind their backs praying the worst-case scenario doesn’t materialise for them.
Good thing, then, Auntie has scooped all rivals to televise the Boat Race again from next year.



WITHOUT wishing to upset anybody at Liverpool FC, particularly their very loyal fans, but I’ve had it up to here – I’m pointing at the ceiling which could do with a bit of a touch-up, it has to be said – with the Rafa Benitez contract situation.
Good that he’s signed and will be at Anfield until who cares when. Now let that be an end to it.
Yes, I understand there are a good many Liverpool fans in all areas of the globe, including Plymouth – and we know who you are by the way – who care about these things. Very few actually come from the place, though, like that other team who play in red. And don’t get me started on those glory-hunters.
Unfair, I think not. I’d have more time for them if they supported less glamorous Premier teams – Portsmouth, Blackburn, Bolton and the like. I can’t remember hearing too many Janner accents coming from a ‘fan’ wearing those teams’ kit.
Personally, I blame the parents. First time you find your kids taking an overly-active interest in a team from outside their immediate area, ground them. Another passable form of punishment is to take them to see one of those critically-acclaimed and politically sensitive Japanese or Polish cartoons, or failing that an episode of Eastenders or Lark Rise to Candleford. That’ll cure them.

WELL, as spectacular showdowns go, the Inter Milan Manchester United set-to wasn’t all that, was it?
For the Milan side it was a bit of a San Siro (damp) squib, while the much-hyped reunion of Sir Alex Ferguson and his nemesis of only a couple of years ago at Chelsea, Jose Mourinho was quite frankly, a no contest.
It wasn’t even a case of who blinked first between either managers or players, as Mourinho’s Inter gave a fair impression of the Blind Boys of Alabama – good band by the way – as they chased shadows all over the park in the first half.
How it ended 0-0, I’ll never know, but maybe United will be made to pay for their profligacy when two meet again at Old Trafford on March 11.
Inter performed better in the second half, but for a team out on their own in Serie A, the best you could say about their display was that it was distinctly average.
Nothing special at all, unlike Mourinho’s ‘special door’ at the back of the dug-out.
This convenient contraption allowed Mourinho to exit, er, well, by the back door, and saved him shaking hands with Ferguson after the game.
And now he’s escaped any disciplinary action following his rant at the referee, Luis Medina Cantalejo, Mourinho will be on the touchline for the second leg.
They don’t deserve to and probably won’t, but Inter and the boy Jose (pictured below) might just escape through the back door in Manchester with a place in the next round.
IT’S surely beyond sensible debate – an accusation, I’ll admit, levelled at these columns on more than occasion – that Middlesbrough, as a place, doesn’t have a whole lot going for it.
Therefore, when the poor blighters who have the misfortune to live in that part of the country, seek some semblance of solace, they might, not unreasonably, expect a sympathetic hearing.
Clearly this is not the case, if a less than subtle letter addressed to one of Middlesbrough FC’s, and by the sounds of it, less-popular supporters with his fellows, is any guide.
Addressed to ‘Dear Block 53A supporter’ from the safety officer at the Riverside Stadium, the aforementioned Boro fanatic has been warned against his ‘noisy, passionate support’ which has, heaven forfend, seen him standing at times in a seated area.
That offence runs counter to the safety certificate issued by Middlesbrough Council, and is rightly frowned upon.
The exasperated safety officer, we’ll call her Sue, because that’s her name, issued a final plea to him/her last week, about his over-enthusiastic antics.
These misdemeanours also include ‘constant banging and noise coming from the back of the stand’, which is ‘driving some fans mad’.
However, there was a concession offered by the club official, who closed her missive with the get-out clause of ‘you can make as much noise as you like when we score’.
Given that Boro, despite Wednesday night’s 2-0 home FA Cup success over West Ham, are second-from-bottom in the Premier League and not exactly on fire in front of goal, it’s not exactly much of an inducement, is it?
Imagine, eh, making a noise at a football match.

How good was Joe Calzaghe?

JUST how good was Joe Calzaghe – how will he be rated now that he has announced his retirement from the boxing ring?
For my money, there shouldn’t be any argument that Calzaghe is among the greatest champions this country has every produced.
Statistics, they say, never lie – just who ‘they’ is or are, I’ve never been quite sure, though.
Just check out the Welshman’s wonderful record: he’s bowing out at the top, unbeaten after 46 pro fights, which includes 21 successful world-title defences.
And an 11-year reign as world super-middleweight champion, to boot.
Joe even has two – obligatory for pro boxers – ring nicknames.
Calzaghe (pictured) is tagged as the Pride of Wales and the Italian Dragon: I know which one I’d prefer if I was him.
Therefore, he’s no ordinary Joe – no less a person than Ricky Hatton insists Calzaghe deserves to be up there with great British champions like Lennox Lewis and the incredible Ken Buchanan.
So, there should be no debate – Calzaghe deserves all the plaudits that will come his way.
And, yet....
Trouble is, in common with most boxing champions, there’s always that nagging doubt, the little query over something or other which doesn’t happen with other sporting greats.
For example, in tennis, golf and other individual sports, there’s not quite the same level of scrutiny as there is with boxers.
Take Roger Federer: does he become any less great because he’s lost to Rafa Nadal in two, fantastic finals in the past year.
Or if he’d beaten Nadal in 2008 at Wimbledon or last Sunday’s Australian Open, would he be greater than Pete Sampras, say, or Bjorn Borg?
Furthermore if Tiger Woods, heaven forfend, packed up golf now and decided to lend some of his career earnings to the IMF or the World Bank, does that diminish his achievements?
Nope, there’s never a question over these athletes – they are remarkable.
But people, erroneously, in my humble opinion, question the Calzaghe legacy and have done since he became world champion in 1997.
As I’ve said it’s not unusual in boxing: I remember idiots suggesting Cassius Clay/Muhammad Ali was not the bravest because he used his skill and speed to dance out of range of opponents, rather than get hit, as unfortunately, the Greatest did later in his career.
Joe, the critics say, fought Chris Eubank when he was past his best to win the title in the first place 11 years ago. He never fought fantastic British fighters in his weight category like Nigel Benn, Michael Watson or Steve Collins.
It’s hardly Joe’s fault, if those guys had either retired or were no longer in their pomp.
I don’t think he did his reputation any favours by taking fights with ‘legends’ Bernard Hopkins and Roy Jones Jnr, particularly the former whom I believe had a case for thinking he’d beaten Joe in Las Vegas last April.
However, contrast those two bouts, which were pension top-ups for Calzaghe, with his demolition of the then highly-rated Jeff Lacy in 2006.
Calzaghe produced one of the finest performances I’ve ever witness by a British fighter against a really top-notch American.
With that victory alone, Calzaghe surely removed any doubt over his fitness to join the pantheon of great British fighters.

Rafa's rant backfired

THEY can sing ‘you’ll never walk alone’ for as long as they like, but Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez seems to be single-handedly dismantling the Koppites’ dreams of beating Manchester United to the Premier League title.
I know there’s a lot going on behind the scenes at Anfield these days, but it’s hard to not put Liverpool’s recent dip in form down to Benitez’s tirade aimed at Alex Ferguson at a Press conference earlier this month.
The explanation can’t be that simple, can it?
If, as some commentators opine, Rafa’s rant was not targeting Fergie at all, but intended to trip up referee Steve Bennett ahead of the United-Chelsea game, then it backfired big-time on the Spaniard and the club.
If his reasoning was that convoluted, Rafa’s missed his mission in life and I suggest a job working as a script-writer on 24 might be more suitable.


The pity is of course that between them, Liverpool and Chelsea, who meet at Anfield tomorrow, are in danger of handing the championship to United on a plate.
It’s surely beyond sensible debate that United are not just the form horses but the best team in Britain – and have been for some time.
And the way Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool have allowed – in contrast – the likes of Aston Villa and Everton to creep into the Champions League qualifying places, suggests United will be top dogs for quite a while yet.
Nevertheless, it’s a pity for those of us who only have a passing interest in the outcome of this season’s Premier League race that most of that interest is focused off the pitch. Watching Benitez (pictured below) speaking to the Press after his side nearly lost to Wigan ‘can we not lump it forward’ Athletic in midweek, was painful and quite baffling.
He said the second half was ‘crazy’, without really justifying his use of the word.
I wonder, given the Anfield boardroom turmoil and Rafa’s own often baffling team selection (Robbie Keane – and his tactics), perhaps that adjective is not so wide of the mark after all.











AS TAKEAWAYS go, the deliveries to a couple of pubs near Derby recently will take some beating – and eating, it has to be said.
In separate incidents, two sheep’s heads were hurled through pub windows at two pubs in Derby before County’s FA Cup clash with old rivals Nottingham Forest last Friday night.
A Derbyshire Police spokesman admitted earlier this week they were investigating the possibility of the incidents being connected to the fourth round tie which ended 1-1 (so no clean sheeps, I meant sheets, that night, then).




STILL people and glasshouses and all that, mustn’t judge the good burghers (no bun intended) of the east Midlands too harshly.
A recent report by Somerset County Council’s Trading Standards team report has revealed that Somerset kebabs are the worst in the country, smaller than their rivals but packed with more calories.
Irritatingly, it doesn’t name the outlets otherwise I’d let you know where to get them.
They’d go well with something I’ve heard on the grapevine, about a new wine for the over-55s, California vintners in the Napa Valley are reportedly producing.
The area mainly produces Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, and the growers have developed a hybrid grape which is said to act as an anti-diuretic.
Given that chaps and chapettes of a certain age make trips galore to the lavatory during the night, the new wine aims to reduce the visits and is called Pinot More.

Please give me good news

OH, FOR some good news from somewhere – I’m already beginning to wish 2009 was over as there seems to be nothing to look forward to except more predictions of doom.
In fact, each time I see the BBC’s very own harbinger of doom Robert Peston’s take on the latest fiscal downturn in the economy, my eye adopts a nervous tic akin to the Herbert Lom character’s reaction to Peter Sellers’ Inspector Clousseau in the Pink Panther series of films.
I don’t blame Mr Peston, personally, of course, for the deteriorating financial news – although it cannot be refuted that his arrival on the scene over the past 12 months has coincided with the global downturn.
I leave it with you to make up your own minds.
So, it was against the latest revelation (ha!, that’s a laugh) – that we’re bailing out yet another bank with money we haven’t got – and my better judgement, that I stayed with the Burnley v Tottenham Hotspur Carling Cup semi final in midweek.
Tommy Hotspurs 4-1 up after the first leg, then 3-0 down and into extra-time against the Clarets.
Harry Redknapp’s Spurs were going out to a Championship side who were on a losing streak – what larks beckoned!
But, no, I should have known better: it’s not a Hollywood script – and as we now know there wasn’t to be a romantic ending for the Turf Moor team.
Two very, very, very late goals and Spurs had won.
So, now we have the rare treat of Manchester United (or their reserves which proved too good for a poor Derby team), playing Tottenham in the final at Wembley on March 1.
And as fate would have it, the two blighters are at again today, only this time in the FA Cup.
It should make for interesting viewing if Redknapp keeps to his pre-tie pledge of sending out a weakened team against the best football club in the country.
Fair enough, Spurs are in a parlous state in the Premier League and preserving their status in the top flight is Redknapp’s avowed priority.
But, I just wish when clubs, managers, etc, decide to devalue a famous competition, they cut ticket prices accordingly.
After all, if clubs want to put out what might amount to a tribute band in terms of star quality, then they shouldn’t be looking to charge top dollar.
The credit crunch and value for money and all that, just ask that nice Mr Peston, if you don’t believe me.
I’M LOOKING forward to seeing Ricky Hatton along with his special guest Frank Bruno at the Pavilions tonight.
As good as his shows are reputed to be, I’d much rather see Ricky fighting – not with dear old Frank, mind you.
Just when, or against whom we’ll see the Hitman in action again, remains to be seen.
Mixed messages have emerged over Hatton’s proposed showdown with Manny Pacquiao.
Earlier this week, the Las Vegas super-fight as it is being billed was reportedly dead in the water.
Now it could be on again after the Filipino had dropped his insistence on a 60-40 cut – in Manny’s favour, of course.
In between times, a return with Floyd Mayweather Jnr was touted as an alternative for Hatton, while Oscar de la Hoya’s name also surfaced.
Perhaps, Ricky will give Plymouth fight fans the full skinny tonight?

City joke

A MANCHESTER City fan wakes up following a year in a coma and, after great rejoicing with his family at his bedside, he asks the inevitable question, ‘What news of our beloved football team?’
His son, bedecked in blue and white all-weather gear grins and says, ‘Brilliant news, dad. We’ve signed Robinho from Real Madrid and Kaka from AC Milan, for about £130million for the two of them – with more big signings to come from mega-rich Abu Dhabi owners!’
The old fellah sighs, and with a tear in either eye, replies, ‘Well, if I’d known you were going to start taking the mickey (or words to that effect) I’m going to get my head down again!’.
Apologies to any poor City supporter, or anyone else for that matter, who has suffered from a coma, but you can see where I’m going, can’t you?
There’s surreal and then there’s this nonsense in Manchester, where money, or the value of it, has no real meaning any more.
Should City succeed in signing Kaka for the latest figure bandied around of £108m – and rising – with a reported weekly wage of around £500,000 for good measure, then the game of football really needs to take a long, hard look at itself.
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger summed up the feelings of everyone outside of Milan and Manchester when he said the Eastlands club were not operating ‘in the real world’.
Wenger said the magnitude of the offer on the table for Kaka sent out the wrong message in a time of global, economic downturn.
That probably doesn’t concern City’s owner Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan one little bit.
The Abu Dhabi billionaire has an estimated wealth of £15bn, so £100million-plus may be perceived as sweetie-shop money to him.
Wenger argued that Arsenal, like many established and successful Premier and Football League clubs, try and live within their means.
He said: “We live with three incomes: the gates, the sponsors and the television money – that’s the real world of football, the rest is exceptional.”
As for Kaka, seemingly an intelligent, serious-minded fellow from a middle-class and religious background, what must he be thinking?
Earlier this week, the 26-year-old 2007 Ballon d’Or winner, said he wanted ‘to grow old in Milan’, but City’s offer was clearly an offer the Rossoneri and its own mega-rich owner Silvio Berlosconi simply couldn’t refuse.

ANYWAY, a bit of good news among all the doom, gloom and profundity.
To quote the inimitable Bruce Willis in the Die Hard film series, it’s time for a collective yippe-kay-yay.
The reason to be cheerful is George W Bush is about to vacate the White House.
Unpopular he may have been as president of the United States, he has been a source of amusement in his mis-use of the English language.
Big Phil at Chelsea is a close second, but let’s remind ourselves of a few of his Bush-isms.
To Israeli journalists in a Washington interview last May, he said: ‘‘I’ll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.”
And also in 2008 to Pope Benedict XVI: “Thank you, Your Holiness. Awesome speech.”
Meanwhile, he enhanced his green credentials with his rivetting assessment: “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.”
Right, Mr President, time to go...

Ince dismissal spells national disaster for young managers

THE chances of a young bright English coach taking charge of the national side anytime soon were further diminished by Paul Ince’s sacking earlier this week.
That Blackburn Rovers have torn up Ince’s contract, after giving him little longer than the length of the kids’ annual summer holidays in which to prove himself in the Premier League, seems both cynical and stupid to me.
Portsmouth manager Tony Adams has called Ince’s axing after just 21 matches in charge at Ewood Park as a ‘spineless’ decision.
Adams described the rationale whereby Blackburn chairman John Williams, who has since appointed Sam Allardyce whom he interviewed for the Rovers’ post before Ince was selected, as being in danger of ‘killing the coaches in this country’.
You might argue Adams would say that, being as he is one of that rare breed of a young English coach and probably a friend of his former England international team-mate Ince.
Equally, while Adams’ take on the situation might not be the most measured of summations, there is genuine fear as well as anger behind the outburst.
Blackburn’s decision has also come in for criticism from, and for all his other virtues, not one of the game’s new breed of bosses, Tony Pulis.
The former Argyle manager, whose Stoke City are due to meet Rovers today, also felt Ince’s sacking was wrong in the circumstances and that Blackburn should have stood by their man – albeit not in the Tammy Wynette sense.
Pulis said it was ‘ridiculous’ that three months was not an ‘opportunity’ to manage.
Of course, Williams acted in what he felt was the best interest of the club, as he presumably thought he was doing when Ince was coaxed from Milton Keynes Dons.
So what of the return of Allardyce who, lest we forget, was sent packing by Newcastle United last January, after eight months of abject mediocracy while in charge.
Allardyce, or Big Sam, as he is dubbed by mainly northern types it has to be said, has what Ince has been denied – bags of experience.
And talking of bags, at least the summer sabbatical has rid Allardyce of those hooded eyes, caused by the strain of struggling with the unmanageable beast that is Newcastle United.
Perhaps it’s because he’s also from up north, but whenever I thought of Allardyce – and it wasn’t often – a picture of John Prescott would always come to mind.
Maybe it was the pair’s generously proportioned faces – less generous souls than myself have described them as pudding-like.
At periods of extreme stress – you don’t know the half of it working here – I would picture them snarling away at each other and fighting over a local delicacy such as a Barnsley chop. Not a vision I wish to dwell on!


DON’T you go telling me Gordon Brown doesn’t have a sense of humour – at least, I hope the Prime Minister was trying to be funny.
Yesterday, Brown – when asked what he wanted most for Christmas – told his monthly press conference a British football team for the 2012 Olympic Games.
Seemingly, the PM has even spoken to Sir Alex Ferguson about managing said national team.
It’s a non-starter, in my view, as sadly there are no players in Wales, Scotland let alone Northern Ireland who, like for like, could outclass their English counterparts.
Still, I’ve advocated for a while Fergie as manager of England, perhaps that’s the way forward.
Yeah, right!